Is Online Dating Worth It?
Published on January 3, 2008
Recently I started offering dating advice through Yahoo! Answers. If you’re not familiar with Yahoo! Answers, it is a community where you earn points by answering questions and spend points to ask questions. The questions can be anything at all. There are plenty of people asking online dating questions so I check it out every now and again. It’s been interesting seeing what people are curious about and I’ve even been able to help a few people out.
By far, the most frequently asked question I’ve seen is: “Is online dating worth it?” That question actually means one of two things depending on the person asking:
- Is online dating worth paying for?
- Does online dating lead to successful relationships?
Some people ask their question in such a way that they concentrate on the cost but it really comes down to the same thing: if they knew they would meet someone great, they wouldn’t worry about the cost at all.
So, is it worth it?
My answer should be obvious considering I have a blog dedicated to online dating! Just in case you haven’t picked up on it, yes, I think it is worth the money and the time. I also know that it does lead to successful relationships. While there are plenty of people on Yahoo! Answers who agree with me, just as many disagree. I find that most of the people supporting the idea of online dating mention some success using it. The answers from those who are against online dating, on the other hand, often have qualities I find both amusing and annoying at the same time. Those qualities are:
- They rarely mention if they’ve tried online dating or if they do mention it they are very vague
- They have a tendency to demean the idea of online dating without offering any substance as to why they are against it
- They avoid punctuation, capitalization and, on occasions, appear to make up their own words
- They suggest that people you meet online are only interested in a) sex or b) killing you
Most of the advice offered by people who are against online dating is worthless. For example, if someone thought online dating was horrible and shared examples why, that would be great and would have some value. You don’t see that, though. You just see answers like “online dating iz dangerus!!!”
Arguments for Online Dating
There seems to be some unspoken rule on Yahoo! Answers that you answer the question asked; you don’t respond to other people answering. I follow this rule even when I’d love to ask some of the anti-online dating people how they formed their opinions. With that in mind, instead of making general arguments for online dating I am going to counter a few of the answers I’ve seen. The following are samples of Yahoo! Answers given to the question “Is online dating worth it?” followed by my thoughts on the advice offered. I’m not cherry-picking my examples – there are plenty of examples like these to choose from.
Answer 1
save your money.. ask friends if they know anyone that is single that you might be interested in or if your good with conversation just start talking to people when you go to the landrymat or bookstore etc…
- First off, the idea of letting your friends and family know you are single-and-looking is a good thing (as long as it’s not the only thing). But the assumption that doing this is going to cause dates to flood in is ridiculous.
- As for just going out and meeting people: this basically says go wander around your town to different establishments until you happen to strike up a conversation. Hopefully after a few of these conversations you’ll actually talk to someone who is single. This type of advice will work for someone who wants to date anyone. But wouldn’t it be nice to meet someone with qualities you are actually looking for? If meeting anyone just to avoid being alone is the answer, why not institute arranged marriages? Am I the only one who notices many relationships are not working today? Is there a chance part of the problem is that some of us actually believe that meeting anyone is the solution?
Answer 2
Why don’t you just go out and meet real people in your town. It will save you a lot of money.
- People on the internet are as real as the people in your town.
- I’m not convinced you save money by going out. To me, the words “going out” inherently involve me spending money in some fashion. That said, I have tried this. There were several times when I was single where I would buy a coffee just so I could be social somewhere secretly hoping to meet someone. If you go to a bar with the hopes of meeting someone, you are paying even more. If you went out for a few beers or coffee every week over a month’s time, you might not spend as much as the cost of a dating service but it would be close enough to make your actions questionable.
Answer 3
NO!!! just find someone on ur own and the person will love you cuzz they actually know u..
I have no idea where to begin with Answer 3 so I’m just leaving that one alone.
I like Yahoo! Answers but the system appears to encourage people to answer questions they know very little about. Many people, it would appear, are far more interested in hearing people talk about the questions they want to ask and, thus, they have to answer questions so they can ask there own.
Believe what you want but one fact cannot be denied: online dating is only getting more popular. There is a good reason for that: it works.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
Posted in:
New to Online Dating?
