Writing a Better Online Dating Profile
Published on September 5, 2011
I’ve already shared my thoughts on how I recommend creating a dating profile in my article Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Your Dating Profile..
The truth is, I run this site and give dating advice in my spare time…which means I don’t have nearly enough time to help rewrite all of my readers profiles. So my goal all along with my step-by-step profile creation article was to enable people to improve their profiles without needing me.
Recently I was contacted by someone regarding their profile and his desire to improve it. I asked him to go through the steps in my guide to creating a profile. I wanted to share the results of this with all of my readers as I am encouraged that the advice I’m offering can really help.
The Profile
Here’s what my reader wrote:
I agreed to look at his profile at the end of which I’m including below (although I’ve changed some details to hide his identity):
The Original Dating Profile
I’ve only been in 2 relationships. My first relationship a few months and the other lasted over 5 years. Does this mean that my next relationship is going to last 70 years? Well no, probably not.
I enjoy watching movies from every genre, including romantic comedies such as 500 Days of Summer, Honeymoon In Vegas, Overboard and You’ve Got Mail just to name a few of my favorites. I’m not afraid to admit that an emotional scene can make me teary eyed every time.
I enjoy listening to every genre of music, having recently taken a liking to Elvis Presley. Watch his performance of “If I Can Dream” on Youtube and then tell me you’re not a fan.
I’m a football fan but my team of choice isn’t the Packers. I know, I know. It’s odd that a football fan living in Green Bay isn’t a Packers fan. I don’t mind if you are though.
Did I mention that I can make you laugh. Well I can try to anyway. The laughter part is up to you.
I’m NOT looking for a one night stand so please look elsewhere if that’s what you’re looking for. Yes, I realize I’m a man. I’m looking for someone who’s honest and trustworthy, that’s enough for me.
As I told my reader, I didn’t think his profile was bad but it didn’t stand out to me either. My main thoughts where:
- The profile felt too generic and I didn’t get a feel for who he really was or what he wanted.
- I wouldn’t talk about crying at movies. I have no idea why but I see a lot of guys do this and I really don’t think talking about something like this is going to be the thing that wins a woman over. Sensitivity can be nice but…I’d leave this out.
I suggested he go through the steps in my profile creation guide. I offered to review his “before” and “after” and I also offered to have my wife review it and give a woman’s point of view between the two profiles.
He agreed and here’s what he came up with.
The New Dating Profile
Hello! My name is M and I’m shy at first, but I don’t stay that way for long. I enjoy going to new places and trying new things; especially restaurants. But I still prefer watching a movie in the comfort of my home over going to a movie theater. I’ll listen to anything but country music. I love listening to music while driving or exercising. I’m not a health nut but I try to take care of my body. That’s how I’ve learned to cook chef quality meals, even if my homemade raviolis are more chef boayardee than Emeril Lagasse. I’m a football fan but my team of choice isn’t the Packers. I know it’s out of the ordinary that a football fan living in Green Bay isn’t a Packers fan. But I don’t mind if you happen to be one.
I’d describe myself as honest and trustworthy, which is what I believe to be the heart and soul of any relationship. I also believe that promises aren’t made to be broken. I’m exceptionally loyal, especially to those that mean the most. I’m also very caring and compassionate, having a soft spot for those less fortunate than the rest of us. Did I mention that I can make you laugh. Well I’ll try to anyway. The laughter part is up to you.
This is going to come as a shocker but I’m NOT looking for a one night stand. I’ve only been in 2 relationships. My first relationship lasted several months and the other lasted over 5 years. Does this mean that my next relationship is going to last 70 years? Well, who knows! What I’m looking for is someone who’s honest and trustworthy; who is not only looking for love, but looking for the love of her life! Do you fit this description? Feel free to contact me.
Honestly, I was blown away by the difference. As I told my reader, after reading the second profile even I wanted to date him! Seriously though, I thought it was a huge improvement.
My reader was still being himself which I think is very important. One thing I hated about much of the dating advice I found when I was online dating was that it so often revolved around being someone else. I’ve really tried to make sure my advice doesn’t lead people down that path and I’m thrilled to see that he’s stayed the same guy…just with a stronger profile.
I asked my wife to review both profiles and this was her response:
I was forced to admit to her that I didn’t write it but that’s a wonderful thing.
Writing a Better Dating Profile
So how can you write a better dating profile? Well, I hope you’re sitting down because this is going to come as a shock: I’d recommend you check out step-by-step profile creation guide that I’ve referenced many times here. Obviously it worked very well for this reader and I hope you could have similar results.
That being said, I actually think my reader had the right approach: look at lots of advice. He didn’t just read my advice, he gathered many different opinions. I hope that my advice works for everyone that reads it but I know the reality is that it will work better for some than others.
Having walked down the path of online dating myself, I can tell you that most people offering advice want you to believe that their answer is the only answer. That’s just silly. There so many different personalities/goals/values/outlooks and sometimes good advice for one person just won’t work for another. So, give my advice a try; I really hope it works for you. But if you struggle with it, don’t beat yourself up about it. Perhaps my approach just wasn’t for you.
To me, the important part isn’t that you improve your profile “my way”. The important part is that you keep trying to improve it! The worst thing so many of us do is write our profile at the beginning of our online dating life and then never touch it again.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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