Why Create an Online Dating Guide?
Published on May 15, 2024
Why an Online Dating Guide?
I made my dating life very public throughout the whole online experience. I found that many of the dates either required venting or were simply funny stories (for example, my first online date ever featured a conversation where my date explained how she had once worked for a call-girl service).
I found that the single people I would tell the stories to were not only interested in “what” happened but also in “how” it all came about. That is, they understood how “regular” dating works, even if they weren’t particularly good at it. Online dating on the other hand, they didn’t know where to start or if it was even worth the time. Some people, I think, were using my stories as encouragement to start online dating – a sort of “if I’m not the only one doing it then it must be alright” mentality.
Eventually, people even began to talk to me specifically for online dating advice. I had gone out on enough online dates to have a valid opinion on most of the grey areas. While there is rarely an answer that is always right, I could still give some direction. Who contacts who? And how many emails before you meet? Or how long should the emails be? And exactly what belongs in a profile? Looking back, my original ideas to every one of these questions were incorrect when I first started online dating. I suspect I’m not alone.
That said, I’m not writing this to help people avoid every mistake but I would like to share what worked well for me. This is not intended to be some kind of “I went through this so you don’t have to”. You’re going to have to go through some of it no matter how much you read. There is a lot to be said for personal trial and error – my trials and errors can only get another person so far.
Another reason I created this guide is because every dating book I have read, and there have been several, seems over-simplified and very often written by people with Ph.D.s who, by their own admission, haven’t been on a date for decades. Several of these books suggested that men need to have nothing more than confidence and charisma for success. If things were as simple as these books make it sound the need for these books shouldn’t even exist.
For a moment, though, assume that these books are correct and all it takes to have tons of great dates is to be confident and charismatic. Now, try to apply this to online dating. Unfortunately, confidence in the wrong amount with online dating is going to come off as creepy. And how in the world is an email or profile to include charisma? Sure, these books have tons of value once you’re actually on the date but getting there is half of the work. Even the books that did mention online dating treated it as if it is exactly the same as meeting someone from anywhere else: just keep trying (and trying and trying) and when you are finally successful and actually go on a date, well, then apply all these rules the book gives you. Let me be clear: dating books have a lot of value. I just feel that the one paragraph many of these books offer regarding online dating leaves a lot to be desired. I am hoping to supplement the dating books out there, not replace them.
You can find my online dating guide for free here.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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