Dating and Social Media
Published on July 12, 2018
So online dating is the easiest way to land a date? That may not always be so true. With social media today, there comes the opportunity to reconnect with people from your past or meet new people. I have found that people I know, including myself, have had a few dates from social platforms like Facebook and Instagram.
With any online dating, there is no guarantee that you will have success, but dating someone you already know from your past puts you ahead of the game in several areas:
1. You’re not meeting a stranger.
2. Communication is often easier because you can connect on the past.
3. You already have some type of relationship with the other person.
4. You already have things in common such as high school or college or work.
5. The level of comfort often already established and you can avoid some of the awkward stages you see with online dating.
Meeting someone you already know is much easier than meeting a stranger. With an online profile, you only get so much information, but with reconnect through, let’s say Facebook you get the whole lot more to go on.
Benefits of Social Media Dating
You already know their history and background. And sometimes if you don’t know a lot about them, asking shared friends make that much easier as well. It basically become less about trying to figure out what a new person is like because you have an inside view. And even though you may know each other, I don’t think that takes away from things. Sure, with online dating everything is new, however if you do know a person from your past there is still much to learn about them. What has changed over the years? What hasn’t changed? Who are they still in contact with that you both know? You could maybe be in a situation where you haven’t talked in years but there is a lot to catch up on.
Also with online social media, I find that there is more interaction with someone you are dating. You may already be texting and talking on the phone, but with social media, it opens up another portal for you to communicate. With Facebook you can even let the world know who you are in a relationship with…this is a big step nowadays and a committed relationship is immediately sent to all family and friends letting them know Jack and Dianne are together. And then once you are an item you can go further and you can show your appreciation for someone in a new PDA form. Social PDA such as posting pictures of you two together lets everyone in your friend’s list know that your dating or involved.
Let’s say you’re like me and you check Facebook daily. You can see and judge by the post of your significant other how happy they are with the relationship or just in general. People who share on their social platforms want others to know they are happy or sad. So it helps you gauge the relationship when you look at it in that way.
By liking your partner’s post, you are not just saying I like this post but are saying this is something that we have in common. The most common way that I see people expressing their feeling is through pics on their post. Pics on vacation or at an event form a concert together to even marriage.
Dating should be fun and not looked be all work, even though you do have to put in the effort. Everyone wants a fun experience. I mean who wants to go on a date and feel like it’s an interview? No one that I know including myself. I’m not saying give up on traditional online dating. I’m just weighing the difference between the two. Some people like the fact of meeting someone new and learning all about them. Others might like the fact that they already know a good deal about a person.
Negative Aspects to Social Media Dating
The first big negative is that if things go poorly, it’s a bit more public and out there for the world to see. Depending on how much you put out to the world when things were going well, it might feel like everyone is in your business when things go wrong.
Related to this, you only have so many opportunities with social media compared to online dating as you’ll only have a certain number of single friends. Added to that you won’t want to develop a bad reputation so moving from one friend to another on Facebook often won’t be a great idea.
Another bad thing (although sometimes also goo) is that you have access to your partner’s friends and they have access to yours. There’s some good here in that if you want to know what she or he has always wanted for their birthday then you can go directly to Mom or brothers or sisters and ask. Perhaps you want to plan a special event for someone with family and friend. You can access all of this people in one spot. In the past this would have been much harder and involved a lot of phone calls that honestly most of us wouldn’t have bothered to make. On top of that, you often wouldn’t even know about many of these people and wouldn’t have an easy way to reach them. With social media, the person you are dating whole life is there…which has situations where it’s good.
However, there is a big downside to this if the relationship sours. Just as you can reach out to friends and family for good things, this can also be used in bad ways. Of course you can block another person if they become too annoying but it doesn’t mean they won’t have an opportunity to blow things up in your timeline!
Final Thoughts on Social Media Dating
Online dating doesn’t always mean online dating in the traditional sense. There have been times when I met someone online and then added them to friends on Facebook. This is also a good way to get to know someone for all the reasons I mentioned above. I would wait before doing this. I’m not saying go on one date then add them into your Facebook because, remember, you are letting this person into your online world with a lot of information on you. Make sure that you trust the person and know them well enough to do this.
So is reconnecting on a social site better than just fishing for people on a paid or unpaid dating site? For me, when the opportunity presents itself the experience has been that I’ve had more success with social media. It’s just easier to move things forward and there’s a fun aspect to reconnecting. But again, these opportunities aren’t always available and you will only have so many friends to consider. But when it’s been an option, for me it’s been good.
You may be different and not want to date anyone from your past. Then again you may just find out that Becky from homeroom is single now and you always had a crush on her. Whatever way works best for you; I would say go for it. I just wanted to point out the obvious that there is more than one way to skin a cat.
Author: mike
Mike is returning to online dating after being away from dating for many years. While not an "expert", Mike brings a real view of the challenges of online dating and his opinions in dealing with those challenges.
Posted in:
New to Online Dating?
