People of Online Dating: Alexa
Published on April 2, 2016
There are a lot of different people to be found within the communities of online dating, and each person has their own unique perspectives on these services. Everything from what website to use, why they choose to look for romance online, personal challenges, and success stories vary from one person to the next. We have decided to interview some individuals to reveal the diversity to be found through online dating. This helps us to see that no matter who we are or what we are looking to find, there are others out there compatible with our needs and desires.
Alexa is a 25 year old woman who has agreed to answer some questions on her approach and preferences to online dating. She is presently single, actively dating, and first began searching for romance online just over one year ago. She is looking for a monogamous, long term partnership.
Why did you decide to try online dating?
I moved to a new city and wanted to find a partner. I guess that’s the obvious answer. But I also wanted to be really intentional with how I built my new support network. I was going to bar events, running groups, and even joined a gymnastics club, but I wasn’t looking to find a relationship in those places. I for sure met awesome folk, but I needed to make sure I had a friendship circle and my own life before I brought my love life into those areas. Dating online made it easy for me to find people to date without mixing them up with the life I was trying to build at the time.
Can you elaborate for us why you felt a need to separate your dating life from the other areas of your personal life?
Yah, I didn’t want to lose myself to someone by getting overly infatuated and forgetting to spend time with other people or doing other things.
What online dating platform do you currently prefer to use?
Tinder.
What draws you to Tinder?
It’s on my phone so it’s always with me. It’s exciting when you and a match both swipe right, so there is no hesitation about if they would want to talk or not, or too much pressure for starting up a conversation. It just doesn’t feel so out of the blue because you’ve both already acknowledged each other before speaking.
What style of relationship are you looking to find?
I’d like a long term relationship but I try not to put that pressure on a date by saying so. A serious relationship just happens naturally and you can’t really expect it to happen with the first person you meet. I just tell people I’m looking to date and see where things go. No pressure.
Have you found success through online dating?
I’ve been on some really awesome and fun dates with people, and a couple times it turned into short term relationships or 2 and 3 months. So yah, I would say I have had some success. Im still looking for the right person though!
What is a challenge you have experienced with online dating?
I don’t have many challenges, but one thing that bothers me is when I am messaged by people who think that being bisexual means I am ok dating couples or want to participate in a threesome. It happens more than you’d think, even if you write it right on your profile that you aren’t into that.
Have you found a good way to handle this situation when it arises?
At first I would get pretty upset by it and write something snarky back. But then I realized it’s best to just drop it and not reply.
How often do you go on dates? On a similar note, how many people do you feel it is acceptable to date at one time?
I might go on one, maybe two dates a week. I usually only meet up with one person at a time but talk with several people online. I haven’t actually dated two people at once, but I’d be open to it if two people invited me out at the same time. I think it’s fine to date a few people at once because there is no commitment at that stage. But personally, I would find that exhausting. I have so much going on that I don’t have the time to date multiple people at once.
Do you have any tips for people new to online dating?
Don’t let fear hold you back. Just go for it! There are a lot of healthy, fun, and normal people online, so say hello and show someone you’re interested in them! Participate!
Author: Stephanie
Stephanie Arnold is a writer, visual artist and composer who seeks to unveil the working structures of the human psyche. She works to share valuable insights that stem from personal experience and assist in the development of deeper levels of self-awareness, especially in regards to a sincere and healthy relationship to love and loving. The core of her philosophy is that self-love is the root of loving outwardly, and is therefore necessary to develop if one wishes to create fruitful relationships with others. Her evolving portfolio may be found at www.lovefromwithin.org.
Posted in:
New to Online Dating?
