Safety Part 3: Privacy
Published on December 22, 2015
We have been exploring online dating safety in a series of three parts:
1. Emotional wellbeing
2. Physical safety
3. Privacy
This article is the third and final part of this series, and will be focusing on the significance of maintaining personal privacy, how it may be compromised, and how to prevent a privacy breach.
Privacy
Everyone is entitled to privacy and the degree of privacy you maintain with people shifts and changes as a relationship evolves. Online dating adds an entirely new dynamic to this process because it extends to the digital landscape, where anonymity (and therefore privacy) is increasingly difficult to maintain with control.
Every way you participate online leaves some form of trail. When you sign up to a website using your primary personal or business email, create a personal profile, upload your pictures, or synch websites to your social media profiles, you are creating a very direct and easy to follow trail back to your personal identity.
This is because there are vast and intricate digital networks that web together the personal information you have shared across various websites. An obvious example includes synching your Facebook account to other websites, such as Twitter, Soundcloud, Instagram, and LinkedIn. This connection results in an increasingly detailed record of who and even where you are.
Depending on how you personalize your account privacy, your social profiles may be anywhere from completely hidden to completely open to the public. I highly recommend taking a moment to privatize your social media accounts if you have not already.
This is a basic step towards maintaining your privacy while online dating and here is why: if your online dating profile is linked to your social media accounts, which also happen to be open to the public, then anyone who fancies your dating profile could do an Internet search and learn more than you had intended to share. This could create imbalanced power positions in that potential relationship, which could result in your own discomfort, in their dishonesty (not sharing how much they know), or even more serious cases such as stalking, manipulation, or fraud.
With a little mindfulness, you can ensure that other users only have access to the information you are choosing to share.
Solutions
1. Speak generally on your profile. Your profile is meant to create a general glimpse into who you are and what you are looking for. It is not the place to be sharing your full name, address, school or workplace, all of which may be used to dig up a lot of information about you, such as your profession, net worth, and the places you frequent.
2. Do not link to your other social media accounts. Do not post links to your other profiles on your profile. Remember, it is accessible to other users and possibly even people who have not signed up with the website. This solution also protects your privacy from friends, family, and business relations if you do not want them aware of your online dating activity.
3. On a similar note, I would also recommend refraining from sharing your social media with dates prematurely. If the connection ends up dissolving after a few dates or messages, then having the individual on your social media only creates an extra step to cut the connection. This can be awkward, or if the person is at all vengeful, they could cause you social harm.
4. Consider creating an email account specifically for your online dating contacts. When transitioning communication to email, having a separate account means your date cannot use the email address to search for you in other places of the Internet. The new email address can also use this email to register your online dating account. It is not uncommon for service providers to store your email even after you deactivate your account. This makes it easier for you to return to online dating should you decide to, but it also means you could still receive promotions and newsletters even after you have entered a relationship.
5. Use photos on your profile that are specifically for online dating. Did you know anyone can perform a reverse image search on the photos you upload? When you upload a photo to your dating profile, anyone can take that image and input it to an image reversal search, such as Google Images. These services function to take an image and reveal where else it appears on the web. Therefore, if your online dating profile pictures are the same ones that can be found on your social media profiles, then anyone can discern your personal identity.
Maintaining your digital privacy protects you from the investigation of strangers as well as friends, families, and business relations, such as coworkers, bosses, landlords, clients, or even students.
Beyond your digital identity, it is important to maintain your privacy around matters of finance and intimate photos.
People you are messaging with or getting to know offline may exhibit behaviours that are simply red flags that breach privacy. These flags may signify that your best interests are not in mind. Two of these red flags include:
1. Asking for financial information. Your date should not be asking you about your net worth, income, or for money transfers. This is especially obvious if someone messages you about this before you have actually met, or if it is tied to stories about being stuck overseas, unpaid medical bills, or another matter of urgency. With online dating becoming increasingly popular, it is not unusual for con artists to take advantage of an individual open to love by enamouring individuals and then asking for financial help.
2. Asking for nude photos. If someone messages you asking for intimate photos, there is no reason for you to respond. This type of individual is not looking for love. The same goes if this type of request arises after a mere few dates. Once you share a photo, there is absolutely no guarantee where it will end up. The risk is higher when you send photos to someone you do not know very well or who has not demonstrated their trustworthiness.
Your privacy is your responsibility to maintain. By your own efforts you can protect your flow of information to other users on the Internet.
Author: Stephanie
Stephanie Arnold is a writer, visual artist and composer who seeks to unveil the working structures of the human psyche. She works to share valuable insights that stem from personal experience and assist in the development of deeper levels of self-awareness, especially in regards to a sincere and healthy relationship to love and loving. The core of her philosophy is that self-love is the root of loving outwardly, and is therefore necessary to develop if one wishes to create fruitful relationships with others. Her evolving portfolio may be found at www.lovefromwithin.org.
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