Should I Tell Anyone I am Giving Online Dating a Try?
Published on July 14, 2015
First things first: there is nothing you should do aside from what you are ready for. Telling people you are giving online dating a try really is not a huge deal, rather it is an opportunity to express, to share and in turn receive feedback and support. If you remain stuck in what to do, however, then let us break it down together.
What would I gain?
Being open about the existence and tales of your online dating adventures creates the potentiality for new opportunities. While actively seeking romance, it helps to keep as many doors open so that your future partner may come into your life.
Sharing that you are giving online dating a try communicates several points at once. First of all, it expresses that you are actively seeking a partner. When others become aware of this intention, new potentialities are created for you to be introduced to other singles they may be connected with. Perfect!
Your open expression also supports connectivity with those you choose to open up with. It supports the relationship due to the honesty and openness you have expressed, and it may yield support, encouragement and advice. Online dating has become a popular venue of exploration and you never know who has personal experience that may be of value to you and your search.
You also have the opportunity to strengthen your sense of self-acceptance and confidence around online dating if you are feeling a little shaky and self-conscious on these grounds. Regardless of how anyone else responds, whether it be positive or negative, it is a reflection of their own perspective. If you enjoy dark chocolate, you would not give it up because someone says it is too bitter. This is because it is obviously nonsensical to believe their opinion has more validity than your own when it comes to something so subjective. The same goes for opinions and feelings around online dating. Recognize you have chosen to try online dating for a reason, and take this as a chance to stand strong yet at ease in your desires and the progressive means you are taking advantage of to make them a reality. In this case, using online dating as an available tool to bring partnership into your life.
What would I lose?
The worst negative impact you can sustain is a blow to your self image. If someone you know and especially someone you respect makes a negative comment about you using the internet to meet people, then you may take it personally and identify with their comment, giving it strength and validity in your life. Rest assured that it is completely in your power to prevent his from happening by remembering and affirming that nothing anyone else says is truly about you. It is only a reflection if their beliefs and inner state (perhaps they make a negative comment to let off some frustration built up over the day).
Another negative effect may be the discolouration of your image in someone else’s mind. In other words, someone else may change the way they see you after learning you participate in online dating. This may become a loss for two reasons. If they harbour a negative perception of online dating, they may group you into that negative category once they learn of your participation. More often than not this unfolding is but a temporary event that passes without consequence. However it is true that there are people who place importance over details such as this and so it becomes a loss if you allow the lack of support and judgement ripple to effect your relationship with each other.
If it is important to you to keep your business and personal lives separate, you may perceive a form if loss if a business associate learns of you are using online dating. This would slightly alter your professional image though I doubt it would truly have any impact.
Who would I tell?
There is no necessity to tell everyone. For instance, you may only feel it relevant to discuss online dating with close friends and family while opting to withhold this information from your work friends. Maybe you only feel a desire to tell your family and it doesn’t really come up with friends. Point is, there is no one you have to tell and no one you have to hide yourself from. Go with your level of comfort and your intuition. After all, this is not a confession, only a light hearted detail of your life. There is room to relax about it.
Author: Stephanie
Stephanie Arnold is a writer, visual artist and composer who seeks to unveil the working structures of the human psyche. She works to share valuable insights that stem from personal experience and assist in the development of deeper levels of self-awareness, especially in regards to a sincere and healthy relationship to love and loving. The core of her philosophy is that self-love is the root of loving outwardly, and is therefore necessary to develop if one wishes to create fruitful relationships with others. Her evolving portfolio may be found at www.lovefromwithin.org.
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