Tech Etiquette for Online Dating
Published on May 15, 2015
When it comes to online dating, it’s vital to know how to manage the different types of technology you’ll be using. Whether you’re sending a message on a dating site, writing a text message, engaging in an online chat or meeting in person, there is a lot that you communicate without even meaning to. Here’s everything you need to know to make a great impression no matter what type of technology you’re using.
Sending a message
A lot rides on that first message you send to someone on a dating site, so choose your words carefully! Avoid generic compliments or cheesy chat-up lines, and instead do your best to say something original. Mention something you’ve noticed that you have in common, especially if it’s fairly unusual, and ask a few questions. You’ll want to communicate wit, genuine interest and any traits that make you stand out from other online suitors. In addition, avoid any mention of meeting in person, as this suggestion is way too keen for a first message (and may make you look more than a little desperate).
Sending subsequent messages or emails
Once you’ve established a rapport with someone and are communicating via messages or emails, you can relax your approach a little when it comes to what you write. However, timing becomes very important at this stage. Firstly, don’t harass someone when they don’t reply to you within a few hours, as this is both aggressive and irritating. Secondly, try to respond to any messages within a day or so, but don’t reply within minutes! It’s good to strike the balance between being needy and being blasé. You want to come across as interested but reasonable, and to subtextually communicate that although the message or email exchange is important, you do have other things in your life.
Sending texts
Once you’ve swapped numbers with someone, your dating success will partly hinge on how you approach the art of texting. It is generally thought that good dating etiquette requires you to reply quite promptly, but to keep messages brief. Remember that even a quick message can be funny, flirty or interesting, making the other person smile during a lunch break or a commute. However, don’t send drunken text messages under any circumstances, as what seems fine when your inhibitions are low may seem mortifying in the morning.
Using a dating site’s chat feature
Online chatting on a dating site can be tricky, as you don’t have long to think of the perfect reply. A useful rule of thumb is to try and type what you would say in person if you were on a date, making the conversation natural and engaging. It’s also important to give the chat your full attention, as the other person will quickly become bored or annoyed if it seems like you’re doing ten other things at the same time. Reply quickly to keep the conversation going, and if you feel like you’re running out of things to discuss then find a reason to end the chat rather than letting it die an embarrassing death.
Meeting in person
Finally, no matter how good your tech etiquette becomes, meeting in person is the most important stage in an online dating journey. Suggest dinner, drinks or something else that allows you to connect but doesn’t create too much pressure to spend a huge amount of time together. When you’re together, try to split the conversation 50/50, asking insightful questions but also letting your date get to know you better. Put your best self forward, and don’t forget to send a follow up text or message to say you had a great time.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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