Feast or Famine: Managing Your Online Dating Emails
Published on May 8, 2015
Online dating can be frustrating when it comes to the number of emails you receive. Whether you get too many emails or too few, you can encounter problems that inhibit your success on a dating site. Here’s what you need to know about both predicaments and how to make the most of your online dating emails.
Receiving too many emails
When you first join a dating site, you might be inundated with emails. This is a particularly common situation for women, but men may also struggle with an overfilled inbox. The first thing you need to learn is how to differentiate genuine interest from spam messages. Some spammers are clever enough to make their emails look like personal messages at first glance, so be sure to read all emails thoroughly. Alarm bells should ring if an email tries to tempt you to go to a different site or contains a suspicious-looking attachment.
Once you’ve set spam emails aside, you’ll need to decide what to do with genuine messages from other people on the dating site. If a message seems generic and doesn’t refer to anything specific on your profile, it’s a good bet that it comes from someone who is messaging every eligible individual they can find, so it may not be worth replying. Meanwhile, be wary of people who are inappropriately forward or keen to arrange an immediate meaning. When choosing who to reply to and how quickly, put people who are interesting, attractive, polite and clearly interested in you at the top of your list.
Receiving too few emails
Unfortunately, you might find that interest in your profile gradually declines after your profile has been active for a while. It’s important to remember that this is a common result and not a reason to despair! However, it’s always worth revisiting your profile and making some adjustments that might encourage more people to get in touch.
For example, take a critical look at your photos. Do they show you at your best, and also make you stand out from other people? It’s smart to choose not just flattering images but at least one picture of yourself engaged in something that matters to you (whether it’s being with a pet, playing a sport or travelling in a country you love). In addition, think about how you’re describing yourself. If there are some clichés in there, replace them with quirkier descriptions of your personality and your hobbies.
It can be useful to get an honest friend to take a look at your profile and make some recommendations. Does your profile really represent the best of what you have to offer? Does it contain errors? Does it show that you are different from the next person on the site? Feedback that answers these types of questions can be incredibly helpful.
Sending online dating emails
Finally, remember that you don’t have to be a mere passive recipient of online dating emails. If you want to take a step toward getting that first date and you haven’t had an appealing email in a while, start taking matters into your own hands. Write short, witty and engaging emails that show you can be a great conversation partner, and get used to taking rejection on the chin. There are dozens of reasons why someone might not reply to an online dating email, and many of those reasons have nothing whatsoever to do with your worth as a potential date. Maintain an optimistic attitude and reach out to anyone who looks like they might be fun to date.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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