10 Etiquette Tips for Online Dating Success
Published on July 4, 2014
The creation and subsequent improvement of the Internet is an amazing thing. We can go online and pay our bills, shop for groceries, talk to our family and friends, and even try to get a date. Many busy people have turned to the Internet in search of love or a single conquest with no strings attached. In fact, there are dating websites for almost every type of person. There are even sites specifically for one night stands (or as the kids call it now: hooking up).
The Internet allows all of us the luxury of being anyone we want. Do you want to be four inches taller or ten pounds lighter? All you have to do is change your personal stats on your dating profile. In addition to being whatever we want to be, many people have lost their minds and their manners. So, people can be and are often ten pounds lighter, four inches taller, and exceptionally inappropriate.
Many claim ignorance of understanding online dating etiquette. We here at datingadviceguy.com are here to relieve you of your plight. These tips are unisex. In short, they are good for anyone regardless of sexual identity.
Etiquette Tip #1 – If you’re crazy and you know it, let them know.
Remember as a child when your mom would buy a mystery bag for you from the flea market? You never knew what you were going to get…and 99 times out of 100, you were deeply disappointed with the contents of said mystery bag. Don’t be the mystery bag from the flea market. No one likes to buy something without knowing exactly what they are going to get.
My friend, Dawn, recently went out on a date with a man she met online. He seemed nice enough. Unfortunately, he went home that night with a broken nose after he tried to attack her. For your own safety, please wear your insanity in an obvious manner. I promise that someone will still eventually want to date you. They’ll find your crazy to fall on the side of eccentric.
Etiquette Tip #2 – Keep your genital pics to yourself.
Online dating sites (note the use of the word ‘dating’ and not ‘hook up’) are not the place to flash your genitals. If you receive pics of genitals, don’t get overly excited (no pun intended). Remember, the Internet is a magical land that lets us be anything or anyone. Those genitals that were sent to you probably belong to an obsolete porn star.
If you are ever tempted to put pictures of your genitals online…or even tempted to send them to your current significant other please remember this: once it is sent, it’s on the web forever. It doesn’t matter if you delete them or if your significant other deletes them. They are out there. There is no going back. People can take, use, or upload your photos to other sites. Revenge porn can and does happen.
Etiquette Tip #3 – Plan your initial messages and responses.
If you really want a chance at winning over your online dream mate, plan your messages and your responses. Sending a first message that says, “Nice boobs,” won’t do you any favors…unless you like being verbally abused.
Don’t read into the responses. Take what was said as what was meant. In other words, mean what you say and say what you mean. Here are some words of wisdom from my friend who is an attorney:
“Don’t make any comment on someone’s body unless it’s along the lines of ‘I am impressed by your dedication to fitness’ or some other not-creeper statement.”
If you really want a response, take the time to craft a good first message and all subsequent responses. Make it a point to be interested in the other person. Of course, you don’t want to be too interested…or you just look creepy. Keep your interest honest.
Etiquette Tip #4 – Don’t assume.
So your online dreamboat said yes to a date. Congratulations! They’ve even decided to live on the wild side and asked you to pick them up at their home (don’t do that, by the way). Do not take their yes as an invitation to spend the night in their abode regardless of how long you drove to see them. This is a date – this is not prostitution. Your date does not owe you anything for your drive or for dinner.
Etiquette Tip #5 – Tell the truth, nothing but the truth…so help you God!
We all know that people lie in their profiles. It might not be a big lie, but it’s still technically a lie. You should always tell the truth about your age, your weight, and what you look like. Don’t describe yourself as Brad Pitt when you’re really closer to Napoleon Dynamite. If you go rock climbing twice a year, you are not an avid rock climber. You’re a person who enjoys rock climbing twice a year.
I know how lucky I was when I met my husband. His height, weight, and age were all true.
Etiquette Tip #6 – If you don’t want to meet someone in person, politely decline.
It doesn’t matter how much you don’t like someone. You can say no. It takes two people to carry on a disagreement. If someone continues to bug you, block them and move on. Do not throw fuel on the fire. You really do not know who you are dealing with when you are online. It is essential that you be firm, but not inflammatory. People can be crazy…and you could end up in someone’s basement.
Etiquette Tip #7 – You are not in love after an exchange of 10 messages.
You may be infatuated with the image presented during the moment. You may feel intense desire for that person, but that’s not love. Please refrain from offers of marriage or lifelong slavery until after a few dates. If someone tells you that they love you or want to marry you before you meet them in person, do not meet them. Block them. That is a red flag. There is no rush. The world will not end tomorrow. Take your time and get to know the person before deciding you want to devote your entire being to them.
Etiquette Tip #8 – Don’t date someone with the intentions of changing them.
If you can’t accept the person exactly as they are, then that is not the person for you. Your goal in life is not to fix people unless you are a doctor or a therapist. Even then, patients come to you with a desire to be fixed. Relationships should provide unconditional acceptance.
Etiquette Tip #9 – Be you.
Just be you. It’s perfectly fine to have people that you emulate. It helps us to reach our potential. I have people that I admire. However, I don’t want to be them. If you pretend to be someone other than you, then you are lying to your potential partner and to yourself. If you pretend to be someone or something you’re not, then you are setting up your life for an entire host of problems. It’s also a manipulative action to convince someone to be with you.
Etiquette Tip #10 – Remember the Golden Rule.
Remember to treat others how you would want to be treated. If you are used to people taking advantage of you, then change your perspective. Treat others how you would want your mother or best friend to be treated. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t respond and move on. Be honest. Be kind. Be you.
Author: robin
Robin Bull resides in Oklahoma with her husband (whom she met online) and three sons. Mrs. Bull holds a BS in Paralegal Studies. She is a full time freelance writer.
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