Should You Date an Older Woman?
Published on July 31, 2013
It’s probably a safe bet that most men have considered dating an older woman at some point during their lives. Whether it’s a fantasy that started during their teenage years, the thrill of having uninhibited sexual experiences with a more experienced teacher, or a genuine attraction and meeting of minds, age-defying partnerships are on the increase.
In fact, dating an older woman has never been more ‘trendy’. With sexy sirens like Madonna, Demi Moore, and J-Lo proving that forty really is just a number, and beauty can indeed be timeless, younger guys are ditching ‘girls’ in favor of ‘women’ in their droves.
But can dating an older woman ever really work? Can the various obstacles and/or opposition be overcome in the long term? Let’s take a look at some of the practicalities of romancing your Mrs Robinson…
Let’s Get It On…
Okay, let’s talk sex.
If there’s one thing that’s going to be pretty much guaranteed, it’s that she will be more sexually experienced than you. (Just to clarify, I’m not necessarily talking numbers here.) When it comes to older women they’ve likely passed the body hang-ups phase and are probably more confident, assertive and uninhibited in the bedroom. The saying might go, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” but vintage vixens have plenty of knowledge to impart on young cubs! It is also often rumored that women hit the crest of their sexual appetite during their late thirties or early forties, while for men, the peak of passion is twenty-one. When you look at those stats it is little wonder that more and more age opposite couples are getting it on.
One downside of a relationship based on physicality alone is the danger that you can be left feeling used, objectified and manipulated. Yes, men too can suffer that empty feeling after the thrill and excitement of sex wears off. Whilst she might be looking for no-strings-attached fun, you could be falling in love. So set the boundaries early.
Me and Mrs Jones…
Many younger guys are attracted to an older woman’s sense of ‘worldliness’. They are often well-traveled, reflective, easy-going, and have obviously lived a longer life. This combination can result in interesting and thought-provoking discussions on a deeper level than that achieved with women in their early twenties who still feel the desire to be qualified by how much they are loved.
An older woman may not just be a sexual teacher; she can help a guy find himself emotionally. The insecurities and mind-games that sometimes cause men to view younger women as clingy and paranoid have usually dissipated once a woman has entered her more mature years.
Of course, an older woman’s life experience can also be interpreted as ‘baggage’ and is an unavoidable part of dating a more mature lady. She may have children, debts, a failed marriage or two, or a bitter and antagonistic relationship with her ex. I guess this is the part you just have to suck up and accept as small pieces that have helped create an otherwise perfect package.
It is also worth keeping in mind (especially when dating online) that an older woman could be married and in search of an affair. A boring, loveless, sexless marriage may have caused her to seek out fun and excitement with a younger, fitter, singleton like you. Just be cautious and avoid becoming a mere sexual plaything…unless, of course, that’s what you’re aiming for!
Material Girl
It is possible that your mature friend has a successful job and/or business under her belt. After all, she’s had more time than you to work her way up the career ladder.
As a result she is possibly assertive, driven and could be the dominant force within the relationship. She may also be more financially stable than you so you could find yourself being showered with expensive gifts and treats or being whisked off to a luxurious five-star health spa for the weekend.
While on the surface this sounds great, be prepared for feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. After all, aren’t men supposed to be the alpha-dog in the relationship?
The Sweetest Taboo
If you are entering into something more than just physical fun and want a full-blown emotional relationship with an older woman, there will be issues for you to deal with.
For instance, family may well be a problem. Your new beau might well be the same age (or older) than your own mother and for some this will be incomprehensible. The social stigma surrounding the older woman/younger man pairing is far stronger than that of the older guy/younger girl scenario. You may get stared at in the street, talked about in restaurants, or encounter the embarrassment of people referring to her as your Mother/Aunt/Boss. For her, you may be of a similar (or younger) age to her children which could cause long-term upset and resentment. They may view you suspiciously and question your motives.
If she has no children then prepare to have the discussion early on. Her body clock is ticking so you must be as honest as possible with your thoughts about starting a family. Don’t waste her time if having kids is on your to do list for ten to fifteen years down the line.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy…
So I guess the conclusion is that just like any relationship, there’ll be good points and bad.
Okay, so dating an older woman ‘seriously’ can have a few more issues, but if someone is worth it then a little hard work doesn’t matter. The trick is to remain open to meeting all sorts of new and interesting people, because attraction can happen when you least expect it.
Statistics don’t always tell the whole story so don’t get too hung-up
on the numerical-ness of it all. And if she does happen to be a ‘golden goddess’, then so be it!
Guest Post Bio:
Louise Ingram writes for Free Online Dating Advice, a blog dedicated to helping you succeed in the world of online dating!
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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