When Should Drug Addiction Be Brought Up in Online Dating?
Published on February 23, 2013
Online dating has worked for thousands of couples. This new innovative form of dating can be uncomfortable at times, but can lead you to meet someone wonderful, who you would not have met otherwise.
With today’s technology you can filter out those who you may have more or less in common with. Online dating sites typically do ask people what their drinking and smoking preferences are, but there is really no place to list drug use, even if it’s recreational use. If you are someone who has overcome drugs in the past or is privately struggling with a drug addiction, you may be wondering when you should confide in the person you met online.
The Right Time to Discuss a Drug Problem
There is no need to indulge in your private life right away. A drug addiction problem is extremely personal and even being newly sober is a touchy subject. After all, the other person should get to know you based on things you have in common, your personality, hobbies, food preferences, your education or job, as these are typical things that people talk about on the first few online encounters.
The only exception to this would be if the other person mentions to you first that they use drugs. At that point, you would need to decide if this person fits into your future goals surrounding drug use. If your goals are to remain sober, you would really need to consider if you want the relationship to go any further.
Your are More than Your Drug Problem
While your drug problem is a major part of your life, it does not define you. It is best to keep the two separate until after a few months of dating and speak up about it, only if you feel comfortable.
Timing May Affect Your Approach
If your drug problem occurred years ago, say in your teens, there may not even be a reason to tell the other person. It’s completely up to you, but sharing your past too soon may scare the person away, or it could lead them to only focus on your past drug problem, and not your other great qualities. Let the person get to know the real you and then if you feel comfortable go into light details.
If drug use is part of your recent past, you can mention that you had a problem and overcame it. You may also want to have an open conversation at that point about situations you feel uncomfortable in, especially if the person you are talking to is a recreational drug user.
If You are Still Using Drugs…
If you are still using drugs or constantly high during your conversations with someone online, you may want to reconsider online dating completely.
Ask yourself at this time, if you are ready to bring someone else into your life? Do you need time to concentrate on yourself? Do you need to seek help? Are you happy with your drug use, and where you are at this point in your life or do you want to change? Are you acting like yourself if you are high during conversations or someone different?
These are all important things to consider, especially if you are going to put all your energies towards online dating or into one specific person. It may be best to focus on overcoming your drug use, finding a permanent solution and figuring out what to do next with your life before committing to a relationship or becoming emotionally attached to someone else.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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