Women I Contact Look at My Profile but Never Respond
Published on July 25, 2011
A reader writes in the following question:
Hello, your site has been very helpful, but I still have another question.
I read the article on why woman may not respond to emails, but I have a related issue. What do you think it means if women that I email view my profile soon after, meaning they theoretically have read them, and then do absolutely nothing? This happens a lot to me and is quite frustrating.
Thanks for any insight you may have.
I think this type of response has some good news and possibly bad news in it.
The Good News
First, the good news: the goal of a first email is to get someone to look at your profile and for this reader that is happening. I actually think a bigger problem is if you send emails but the people you contact rarely check out your profile. It may not feel like it but if you are in this situation in one sense you are having some success.
The Bad News
The bad news would be that your profile might need some attention. The women are coming to your profile but then aren’t motivated to move beyond that.
If you’re using a free dating service I’d be particularly concerned: there’s nothing stopping someone from emailing you on a free dating service. If they view your profile and don’t respond it’s a strong indication that your profile didn’t catch their interest.
If you’re using a pay service then almost certainly some of these women aren’t subscribing so we shouldn’t look at every unresponded email as a “failure”.
Steps to Improve Your Profile
In many ways, your online dating profile is your way to market yourself in the online dating world. Just like marketing in other areas of life, some methods of marketing work far better than others.
If a company ran an advertisement online that people were willing to read but no one every visited their site and bought something, you can be sure they would adjust their advertisement and try again.
The same should be true for us as we date online: we shouldn’t see a low response rate as a reason to quit. Instead, we should try to adjust our profile to see if we can improve the number of people replying. But how do we do that?
Here are my thoughts:
Find a Good Friend
I discuss this in my dating guide but I’ll repeat it here: have some of your trusted friends review your profile. Try to pick friends who will be honest, too. Some friends will want to be nice no matter how bad your profile is. Better to pick the friend who is known for their blunt honest if you have a friend like that.
Have them review your profile. Do they feel you are doing a good job describing yourself? Do they think you might be leaving something out that others would find attractive? Also have them comment on your photos too because those are very important and should be treated as such.
I realize this suggestion may sound overly simple but many people treat their online dating profile like a deep, dark secret and wouldn’t ever consider showing it to even their closest friend. This is a mistake! Get some input.
Review Some Articles
Many people write their dating profile rapidly and without much thought. I think this is a mistake because you can end up leaving out important things and also because when we do this often our profiles end reading like every other dating profile out there.
I discuss my approach to creating a dating profile in my Step-by-Step Online Dating Profile Creation article. I think being intentional about writing a dating profile will result in much better results.
Also, I believe it is important to recognize that low responses doesn’t always mean you are failing. There are many, many reasons why people don’t respond. You should want to always be improving your profile but at the same time don’t automatically assume this is the problem every time you don’t get a response.
Getting Help from Others
Finally, you can get help from others such as a professional dating profile writer. If you hire someone like this they should take the time to get to know you and understand how to represent you in the best light. I have also assisted with profile creation for readers of this site. Honestly though, I still encourage/prefer the idea of having a friend help you because they know you on a personal level.
If you do decided to pay for a profile rewrite, whoever you hire should be making a strong effort to better understand who you are and to rewrite your profile based on what they learn. If you hire someone and they rewrite your profile without even talking to you about it…I think that’s a bad sign.
To sum this up: if you’re not receiving many responses even after someone you contacted views your profile, don’t assume you’re cursed to never have success. Take some steps to try to improve your profile.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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