Ladies: Increase Dating Contacts with Painful Honesty

Published on February 5, 2011

There’s a really interesting article over at Gizmodo that analyzes some OKCupid data to reveal the mathematics of beauty. This is another great article and another example of why I’m such a fan of OKCupid (both as an online dating service and perhaps the best resource for online dating statistics).

The article is interesting and I would recommend anyone interested in the numbers behind what men find attractive to check it out. That being said, something surprised me at the end of the article that is counter-intuitive but, when you think about it, it actually makes sense. From the end of the article:

Browsing OkCupid, I see so many photos that are clearly designed to minimize some supposedly unattractive trait—the close-cropped picture of a person who’s probably overweight is the classic example. We now have mathematical evidence that minimizing your “flaws” is the opposite of what you should do. If you’re a little chubby, play it up. If you have a big nose, play it up. If you have a weird snaggletooth, play it up: statistically, the guys who don’t like it can only help you, and the ones who do like it will be all the more excited.

What Makes You Different Makes You Interesting
The article goes into detail on this but their theory breaks down something like this:

• Guys have a lot of competition when dating online.
• Most guys realize this.
• If a man sees a quality he likes but believes other men will find it unattractive, he will be excited to contact the woman.

As a man looking back on my online dating life, I can confirm what the OKCupid math shows. When I found a woman that I thought was attractive but at the same time believed others might not, I was very quick to contact her. It seemed like a great opportunity and while I might not have been consciously thinking it, less competition is a very “attractive” idea!

So if you’re a woman out there who feels like your not getting enough contacts, honesty in your photos might be the answer. Stop hiding physical qualities you see as undesirable. It might be painful to consider highlighting what you consider to be your “bad” traits but based on the data (and remembering my own emotions dating online), I would highly recommend at least giving it a try. Who knows what could happen.

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