Watch Your Inbox Go from Empty to Full of Promise
Published on July 15, 2010
This is a guest post by Kate Houston of trysweettalk.com
If you’re dating online then you have a lot of competition. There are millions of people out there and each one is competing for attention. So how do you make sure your soulmate shows up in your inbox? Take tips from people who know how to get noticed – advertisers. Treat your dating profile like an ad and you can stand out from the competition.
Target your ideal.
I came across the profile with the bold username, “Mr. Herpes”. I was floored. Then I read his dating profile and soon found myself admiring his marketing savvy. This man specifically wanted a partner who had herpes because he knew he’d be more free to enjoy intimacy. By making it clear right off the top what – specifically – he wanted in a partner, he did what advertisers call “targeting”. He attracted women with herpes and discouraged contact from those without herpes. Doing so was an efficient way to get exactly what he needed.
Appeal to your target group.
In advertising, “target group” refers to the group or type of people you want attract. For instance, if you want to attract a partner who loves the outdoors, post a picture of yourself shot in a fantastic spot outside. It will catch the eye of other people who enjoy the outdoors. If you love animals, take a picture with a pet. That will catch the eye of people who loves animals. Though your photo should always focus solely on you, adding a subtle visual clue will attract people specifically “targeted” to you.
Have something to say.
Cleverness is great, but it’s not enough. All advertising – including your own – needs substance. If you’re going to be clever, make sure it speaks volumes about you. I had a client who compared how she felt about her life to how she felt during summer break when she was a child. The metaphor was clever. It also said so much about her happiness and creativity that it had substance.
Conversely, I’ve read profiles that say nothing but “if you want to know something, ask”. That’s the equivalent of going to a party where everyone is exchanging conversation and all you’re doing is standing there, disengaged.
If you don’t write any content to pique someone’s interest, then you give no one anything to ask about. In addition, you’re making the other person do the work of culling information from you instead of being social enough to offer it. Lastly, you’re presuming that showing up on a profile is enough to generate interest. It’s not. There’s a lot of competition out there and you need to rely on more than looks.
If writing a profile and communicating is not for you, then hire a professional dating profile writer or simply don’t online date. It’s not for everyone.
Highlight your benefits.
Good advertisers always promote what makes them better than the competition. They passionately and persuasively tout what makes them worthwhile. Your profile, like a good ad, has to do the same. Figure out what makes you special and how someone’s life would improve with you in it. Don’t brag but don’t be reluctant to assert yourself and be confident about your attributes.
The unique selling point.
In advertising, there’s a term called Unique Selling Point (USP). All successful brands have a USP that they promote to give them an advantage over competitors. In online dating, you don’t need to focus on one unique point but you do need to focus on being unique overall.
As an exercise, scan a few dating sites and read some of the profiles. So many say the following: love to laugh, love laughing, love sunsets. These points, as well as “not into drama or head games”, are not unique. Doesn’t everyone love to laugh? Is anyone ever into head games? Avoid clichés and say something different at least as an opener.
If you do seem to like all the things that everyone else likes then say so in a unique way. For instance, if you love animals, say you love animals and accost every one. If you love sunsets, describe the most beautiful one you’ve seen. In other words, be specific so that everything you write makes “you” stand out.
Make sure your brand character is consistent.
A brand character is an overall personality. For a brand to be trustworthy and successful, it has to maintain a consistent character throughout all its communications. McDonald’s consistently offers big meals at great prices. BMW has always advertised performance and style. Apple’s simplicity is well established. By being consistent, brands instill confidence and trust because customers always know what they’re getting and what to expect.
Consistency is especially important when dating online because you’re trying to earn the trust strangers. If you claim that family and relatives are the most important people in your life then don’t say you’d relocate in a heartbeat for the right person. Don’t say you’re easy going then go on a rant about your pet peeves.
Though you show how multi-faceted you are, always keep your values and character consistent.
Keep it fresh.
Successful brands stay up to date and never let their packaging look tired. This is important in online dating too. Sometimes you need to stay on a site for several months until you find the right one. I even suggest that you post your profile on several sites. However, stay fresh. If the same people see the same photo and profile all the time and everywhere, you’ll begin to look tired and unwanted. So freshen it all up regularly. A dating profile on a site, like a product on a shelf, needs to be dusted off every once in awhile.
Spell check.
Most ads are proofread for spelling and grammar before being published. Your profile should be too. Seeing a spelling mistakes on a profile is as sloppy as walking out with a stain on your clothes.
Apply these advertising tips to your online dating profile and you’ll be marketing yourself like a pro. In no time, you could go from being one of many to being the one.
Kate Houston is President and Founder of trysweettalk.com, one of the only online dating profile writing services to leverage subtle, but highly effective, ad techniques so that dating profiles stand out and compete among the millions out there.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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