Crass Men Hurt Everyone in Online Dating
Published on December 8, 2007
crass /kras/ – without refinement, delicacy, or sensitivity; gross; obtuse; stupid
I read an article today that got me worked up regarding what some men see as reasonable communication with women. The author, Barbara/Layla, describes a bad online date which isn’t really the problem (we all have those). The problem begins when the man emailed her after the date to let her know he was not interested, in as rude a fashion as his small brain could devise. I’m not even going to repeat his garbage but do recommend you check out her post here. To me, this sounds like a man who sees the world as his stage and the rest of us, in his mind, are just lucky to be there to see him perform. I cannot ever imagine writing something like that to a woman after a date…probably because I always saw them as another person, not some object whose sole purpose was to meet my current demands.
Guys who act like this infuriate me. You might find yourself say, “But why should you care?! As a man, you didn’t have to deal with these jerks!” No, I didn’t have to deal with these men but they do shape the dating environment other men have to work within. Case in point: I believe there is a man out there looking for exactly what Barbara has to offer. And while he struggles with failure in his search, constantly changing who he is to meet what the psychological mumbo-jumbo says he should be, it is actually some other man who is ruining his chances.
I almost missed out on meeting my wife because of another man. She was stood up on her first online date and given some weak line on how “something came up”. If Kate had not already scheduled a date with me, there is a chance she would have given up on online dating all together. It demands the question to be asked: how often does some jerk scare off another man’s perfect match? Based on Barbara’s article, at least once and that’s one time too many.
Guys: It is a good thing to have some class. Treat the ladies you meet with respect. Yes, even if they aren’t exactly what you are looking for. Ladies: try not to hate men in general. Yes, men like Barbara’s date are well deserving of your scorn but they are not the whole of what the sex has to offer!
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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