Social Acceptance of Online Dating
Published on September 30, 2007
When my wife and I first started dating, we had joked about making up a story on how we met since we were unsure how acceptable online dating would be. We actually tried it out a few times: my favorite was telling friends we met while she was operating a lemonade stand (she had been out of work when we first met). This was not much more than a game between the two of us to see who could be more creative. Months went by and we were now in the habit of telling the truth and, occassionally, dealing with the blank stares. Most people were kind enough to try to recover and act as if “we met online” was exactly what they expected us to say.
Six months into our relationship, Kate and I went to my company Christmas party. The idea of hiding how we had met had long left my mind. So when asked how we had met while we were socializing with a group of six co-workers, I quickly replied, “We met online” without thinking twice about it. What occurred at this point baffles me to this day: every person in the group became instantly silent and there was an obvious air of discomfort. I think someone even tried to change the subject! Eventually Kate and I excused ourselves and, once alone, immediately started a “did that just really happen” conversation.
What really blew my mind was the fact that I had shared my online dating experience with anyone at work who would listen! They had plenty to say during the times that I was struggling – is online dating only acceptable when it is failing?! As Kate and I talked about it, the idea that kept coming back was: if we were comfortable with it, why shouldn’t others be? Why would it have been more acceptable to have met at a bar or a grocery store? I don’t know the answers to these questions except to suggest that it is because online dating is so new. Perhaps in previous generations meeting at the bar was met with a similiar response of shock and only over the last few decades has it become so acceptable as to be the norm.
Recently, my wife and I went to a birthday party. There were four couples there and after a little conversation we found that three of the four couples had met online. Each had used a different dating service but we all agreed that it was the way to go. Sure, we all had a few “horror” stories, but we all found the person we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with, too. A small price to pay in my opinion! If this is an example of the trend that is occurring, it is good news because soon online dating will likely be accepted as the new norm.
For the life of me I will never understand how meeting a stranger in a dark, strange place while inebriated is valued as greater than being a little selective, regardless of how “new” your method of selection is.
Author: Brad
Brad initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. He met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his personal experience using online dating and running this website here.
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